By Ingrid Hedman
Guest contributor Ingrid Hedman is a Swedish journalist, author, and passionate traveler who believes that the best way to discover a place is through the people who live there. Her latest book, Sofas & Strangers, chronicles a month-long journey across Europe, exploring local cultures through the homes and stories of strangers.
Back in 2011, I hosted 35 travellers from all over the world on my sofa in my one-bedroom flat in Stockholm. There were families. Couples. Solo travellers. Some stayed for just a couple of nights, others for a whole week. I remember how we used to sit down for coffee and a chat together. Sometimes we had breakfast, and I often invited them to join me for a typical Swedish dinner. They appreciated being able to hear about Sweden and Stockholm from a local’s perspective – things they would never have learnt had they stayed in a hotel. We talked about Swedish politics, customs and unwritten social rules. I gave them tips on everything from flea markets and the best bars to the loveliest walking routes around the city.
It was fantastic. I had the opportunity to travel the world and get to know other cultures without even having to leave my own flat. We had so many fascinating and intimate conversations, and I am still in touch with several of the people who stayed with me back then, 15 years ago. These encounters eventually inspired my book The Whole World on My Couch (Carlsson Publishing, 2013).
Yet I was often met with surprise and scepticism from friends and family. How could I let complete strangers into the most sacred place of all – my own home? What if they stole something? What if they turned out to be violent or difficult in some way? And just imagine having strangers sleeping in your own bedsheets, brushing their teeth in the same bathroom sink, having your home invaded by unknown people entering your private space. The very thought makes many people shudder.
Why Couchsurfing Makes Us Uncomfortable
Today, when my colleague Ylva Bergman and I travel around giving talks about our new book, Sofas & Strangers – about our journey by train and through Couchsurfing across six countries, staying in strangers’ homes for free together with my then 12 year old son Tim – we encounter exactly the same scepticism. When we ask the audience, “Has anyone here ever tried Couchsurfing?”, hardly anyone ever raises their hand. Being genuinely curious, we ask why people have never tried this way of travelling: staying completely free of charge in someone’s home, where a generous host offers you a bed, sofa or mattress, and saving yourself a considerable amount of money that would otherwise have gone on expensive hotels. The answers are often rather vague and hesitant, along the lines of, “Well, no, it’s not really my cup of tea.” It is almost as if people do not even want to consider giving it a try.
Are Swedes particularly reluctant to embrace this way of travelling? I would say they probably are. We Swedes need to feel safe and secure. We place greater value than many other nationalities on our personal space (just watch what happens when someone sits down next to another passenger on the bus, even though there are plenty of empty seats further away). We find it difficult to let new people into our lives and social circles (just ask anyone who has moved to Sweden and tried to make new friends). And when we go on holiday, we have often spent the whole year saving up so that we can splash out 2000-5000 euros on that one precious week away, when the whole point is to ENJOY OURSELVES rather than scrimp and save. We want to TREAT OURSELVES without risking anything going wrong or causing the slightest inconvenience.
But for those who dare to step outside their comfort zone, challenge their fear of the unfamiliar and take the chance to experience something genuinely different on their travels – perhaps even making friends for life along the way – we have written Sofas & Strangers. The book is packed with inspiration and practical tips on how Couchsurfing works, what to bear in mind and how to get the very most out of the experience.
During our month-long journey, we stayed in the homes of strangers in six countries: Germany, Poland, Hungary, Slovenia, Croatia and the Czech Republic. It was an incredible experience to meet these people and be trusted with their personal life stories. In Berlin, we stayed with Ekki, who was among the first people to cross over to the other side of Germany when the Berlin Wall came down in 1989. He vividly described the dramatic events of a time when his country changed almost overnight. Visiting the city’s exhibition about the fall of the Berlin Wall became a much more personal and moving experience thanks to our host.
In Poland, we were welcomed into the home of a family with children whose sons were around the same age as my own son. Tim and the boys hit it off straight away, bonding over their shared love of computer games. I always recommend that families travelling with children consider staying with other families. Apart from perhaps feeling like a safer option, it can make the whole trip so much more enjoyable for your children.
During our stay in Budapest, we lived with a married gay couple and heard first-hand what it was like to live in a country with an openly homophobic government – a government that, thankfully, has since fallen. Their story was both fascinating and challenged many of our previous assumptions. Isn't it amazing what travelling can do to us? How it can genuinely broaden our horizons and change the way we see other cultures and the people who live in them.
In Slovenia, we had an entire sleeping loft to ourselves in the home of Jakob, a wonderful host who took his role as a host very seriously indeed. Jakob showed us around the little village of Kanal and turned out to be a walking encyclopaedia. We cooked traditional Slovenian dishes together, and we were even invited to join his family for a church service. When it was time to leave, we were all a little sad. It felt like saying goodbye to an old and dear friend.
Ending up at a doggy daycare centre in Croatia came as something of a surprise – but a very pleasant one, since we all love dogs! Spending time with the dogs and learning more about animal care in the country was both fun and fascinating. The couple we stayed with also entertained us with a whole collection of crazy stories, ranging from spiritual trips to tales of eccentric guests, including one guest who simply refused to leave.
Our journey ended in the Czech Republic, where we stayed with a Czech-American family on an organic farm in the countryside. We had found them through the WWOOF organisation. This may well have been the most wonderful and educational stay of them all. For a few days, we worked in the farm's garden and helped look after the animals – a real balm for the soul for us stressed-out city dwellers. The family told us how they had left behind their hectic, high-achieving lives and successful careers in America's big cities to make a complete change of direction and build a farm in the woman's home country. Our philosophical conversations touched me deeply and made me reflect on my own life and what really matters.
All these wonderful, educational, fascinating and thought-provoking encounters would probably never have happened if we had stayed in hotels.
For me, travelling has always been about meeting people and getting to know a culture from the inside. Not about ticking famous sights off a bucket list. I am far more interested in finding out how local people eat their breakfast or sort their rubbish for recycling than in going up the Eiffel Tower to take pictures for my Instagram account. And many of the hosts and guests I have stayed with or welcomed into my own home over the years are still my friends today, and I continue to keep in touch with them.
About the Author
Guest contributor Ingrid Hedman is a Swedish journalist, author, and passionate traveler who believes the best way to discover a destination is through its people. Together with fellow journalist Ylva Bergman, she wrote Sofas & Strangers, chronicling their month-long journey across six European countries, staying with local hosts and discovering new perspectives along the way. Learn more about their adventures and the book at www.sofasandstrangers.com.
Interested in reading Sofas & Strangers? Find the book on Amazon to discover more about their journey and the people they met along the way.